Recently I took our children to lunch at Chick-Fil-A and noticed that everyone seemed to be on their phones. They were talking, texting, checking email, updating their status; everything but connecting with the ones that were sitting across the table from them. This wasn’t the first time I had noticed, but it really disturbed me this time.
It disturbed me for the children, co-workers, and spouses that were left to eat their lunches without any conversation, and for the children that played in the playroom with very little attentive supervision.
Do you recognize this couple? Do you go to church with them? Are they your neighbors? Your best friend? Or does the couple sadly resemble you and your spouse?
The use of technology is rapidly putting a fast decline on our ability to interact with face to face beings. While I enjoy and use the computer and my smart phone on a regular basis, there are rules I have set for myself that I try to adhere to when it comes to spending time with my husband.
- No phone during meals; whether we’re at home or in public.
- Put the phone down or turn away from the computer when my husband is speaking to me. He should always be more important than whatever is happening on Facebook or in my email account.
- I limit my time on the phone and computer when my husband is home. I try to never be on the phone when my husband arrives home from work. I want to greet him and cannot fully do this if my attention is elsewhere.
The time we spend with our husband should be absolutely precious to us. We should anticipate talking to him, holding his hand, and looking into his eyes. We can’t fully embrace our husband while holding a phone in one hand.
We have to give him our full attention!
If you’re not giving your husband the attention that he needs {and craves} someone else will be glad to. You have to guard and protect your marriage.
Technology is a wonderful thing when used in the right context. Without technology I wouldn’t be here writing to warn you of keeping your husband a higher priority than media. Media has destroyed many homes because someone didn’t know how to limit their time and make wise choices on it. If you missed my earlier post on The Effects of Media in A Marriage you can find it here.
Please join the following ladies as they share their heart with you!
PUT THE PHONE DOWN....
- Little Natural Cottage– And be a Teacher
- Growing Home – And be a Mother
- Jill's Home Remedies – And be a Homemaker
- An Original Belle – And be a Listener
- For Journey’s Sake- And be a Friend
Becoming Lydia- And be a Witness
What steps do you take to guard your marriage relationship when it comes to media?
I'm linking up at:
Making a Home
12 comments:
We have taken multi-tasking to new and dangerous levels. This is a great reminder and well-written! I mostly stick to roughly30 minutes of computer time in the evening while my husband is occupied doing things he needs to get done. I utilize my early mornings to get the rest of my computer stuff done. I am terrible on the phone, so that has never been an issue for me. :)
This is great, Heather! I, like you, drop everything when my husband is home and try to cherish each moment with my hard-working man. May I always show him the respect he deserves.
Excellent post, Heather! I love your point about not LOOKING at our husbands when we talk to them and not at a screen. They need to know they have our undivided attention.
Heather, we have instituted a shut down time on the computer for 11:30PM unless there is an emergency. I'm the admin for Covenant Eyes, an internet accountability service which we all have and are accountable to each other! If you ever wanted me to I could share some specific ideas for implementing controls most could live with.
This is great, Heather! I love your media guidelines. :)
This is wonderful, Heather... such a sober reminder to put our husbands and family first.
Media is a great tool, but it can also be destructive if not used wisely. I'm with you; it really bothers me to see so many mothers absorbed in their cell phones and "ignoring" their children in public.
Wow! This is so good. As Jacinda said, excellent post! This is the second in the series that I've read and I'm amazed thus far! Everything you said was right on target.
Hi, my name is Heather! Please email me when you can, I have a question about your blog!
HeatherVonSJ[at]gmail[dot]com
OH HEATHER!!! I had told my hubby about this same thing after coming home from my daughter's ballet class. I noticed that while the mothers were waiting, they were all on their phones...texting, talking, or scrolling through whatever...and it bothered me because they had younger children with them. Their kids were told to "hush"...and the moms did this without taking their eyes from the phones!
Read your child a book while you wait..tell a story...sing songs...or just have a conversation with them! I was so frustrated...and vented to my hubby about it. He nodded but I don't think it registered with him...
until HE was the one who waited one day...he came home and said, "Guess what?!" Not that I want to say I told you so...lol...but it was good that it was brought to his attention because it is SO easy for people to get sucked into that techie world.
To protect our marriage, we don't do any social media (besides our business company). Too many times when we did, an old "friend" or two would pop from the past...it just wasn't a good idea for us to have that. We're also big on communicating...it's crazy how if something (a thought, struggle, etc) is left in the dark, satan can really use that to his awful advantage.
:)
I LOVE this!!! My husband and I had this discussion (about me) after a date night a couple of years ago. Our first date night in awhile and I spent most of it on the phone. Now we have no phone zones and stick to it. Great encouragement!
Just to give you another perspective: I am an Army wife. I cannot tell you how many times I have been on the phone with him while out and about. When they are gone from home you never know when they can/will call. You take the phone with you EVERYWHERE, even the shower. You sleep with the computer on, just in case they are able to get online for a few minutes and chat.
I remember a few years ago visiting my mother in another state while my husband was deployed and at the checkout line at Wal Mart where there was no military presence (no bases, forts, etc.). The clerk looked at me with a weird look as I was busy chatting away while she rang me up. I swiped my card, still chatting, then asked my hubby to hang on a second. I told her, "Thank you have a nice day, and sorry about the phone call but it is my husband calling me from Afghanistan".
Now that he is home (for the time being), there is a Master's Degree that is being obtained from an online college. There is so much time spent on the computer these days (HOURS every day).
What a wonderful reminder to be present in our marriage and with our families!
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